


Be Still

by FakePlastikTrees



Category: Albert Nobbs (2011)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 04:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new woman in Albert's life after Helen breaks her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Still

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt from an anonymous user. The character of Jane is modeled physically after Rose Byrne, as requested.

Albert thought her heart would never mend. She thought, _this is it. This is the first and only time. The last time I will ever feel this. The last time I will make an attempt at what others seem to chase until they fall on their knees, w_ hen Albert herself had never really even considered it. Until Hubert and her wife. And Helen. Beautiful Helen with her blonde hair and eyes that seemed to always be hiding a mischievous secret.

 

It wasn't that Albert particularly desired Helen. Not the way people desire each other. Albert simply wanted someone to be there. Someone to care for and maybe, even possibly love. For after all, wasn't that the point? To find someone to take care of and to take care of one in return? Helen needed taking care of. And Albert needed someone to be there. But Helen didn't understand Albert's type of love. Didn't understand that it was very simple and yet so complicated. But Albert 'did' love Helen. She must have. Because she was hurting in a manner in which she never fathomed could be possible.

 

It was like an ailment that couldn't possibly be remedied. It was an actual physical pain that seemed to stem from deep within and Albert felt the tears pour out of her, her room filled with the sound of her muffled sobs that left her feeling empty and more alone than before.

 

_No more_ , she thought. _No more_.

 

In the end, Albert was wrong about Helen. And once the pain had subsided to a tolerable lull, Albert was able to speak to Helen again. Cordially at any rate. Helen seemed regretful. Especially once things with Joe evaporated and he'd left. She would watch Albert from afar--in a way that seemed melancholy and almost longingly. She would smile a small smile if Albert ever caught her looking. Albert would nod politely and go about her business. She was set on her Tobacco shop. It was a done deal, and within a short few months, with the help of Hubert, Albert's dream would become a reality. The tiny room in the back would have to serve as room for her to retire to alone. 

 

Except Hubert wouldn't have that. 

 

"How can you give up when you've only just begun to know the feeling of needing someone?" He asked Albert once in mid stroke of her brush against one of the walls of Albert's future home, cigarette hanging limply at the corner of her mouth. 

 

"Needing someone was a terrible mistake that I will never make again." Albert argued back. 

 

They'd grown closer over a short period of time. It was inevitable. And even though Albert still felt uneasy about trusting someone with any sort of emotion, she'd found a friend in Hubert. For better or for worse, Hubert was Albert's family now and while the comfort in using Hubert’s first name rather than the more formal last name didn't come easily, Albert managed it and was now more than comfortable with contradicting her whenever it needed to be done. 

 

"You need someone, Albert--" Hubert so stubbornly pressed on, "--and more importantly, you want someone." 

 

It was true. As much as Albert tried to return to her former ways, it no longer held the feeling of independence that it once did. Now, Albert had felt, if only for a moment, what it was like to have someone--false as it might have been-- and to walk with someone, talk to someone. Now, she felt lonesome and unfulfilled. Even with her dream literally in the palm of her hand, she did need someone. But there was no one. No one that would understand or even want to. 

 

Cathleen was always more upfront about pushing Albert "in the right direction". More vocal and unafraid. 

 

"You men, always so proud and stubborn, Albert!" She would say. "There is nothing like another girl to heal wounds from the last one." 

 

Albert would smile and remain silent. Cathleen was someone Albert could never contradict. Mostly because Albert wasn't sure Cathleen had ever lost an argument. It was simpler to just listen. Why fight a war you can't win? 

 

Watching Hubert and Cathleen was like watching a magnificent play. They moved around each other so easily, sometimes so in tune with one another's wants and needs, that no words were spoken. 

 

But it was the way Cathleen looked at Hubert that really made Albert ache. Was it really so difficult to live without someone to look at one that way? And why was it that Albert survived just fine without it? It wasn't Helen she wanted anymore, this she knew. But that look, that deep affection that radiated throughout the entire room. _This_ is what Albert longed for. 

 

And this is what Cathleen was hoping Albert would find in Jane Lithgow.

 

Jane was a bar maid. A quiet, but sociable girl with dark hair that Cathleen had made friends with recently. 

 

It was on an evening out with Hubert and Cathleen that Albert had--unbeknownst to herself--been set up to meet the younger woman, who had just left an abusive husband back in Ireland. Within the span of twenty minutes or so, she had told Albert all about her married life. 

 

"You don't say much, do you, Mr. Nobbs?" She said. 

 

Hubert and Cathleen had long since retired to another table all together, leaving the newly introduced pair to their own devices. 

 

Albert didn't particularly enjoy this. It made her feel anxious and there was a particular sensation, as if her stomach were turning. This happened whenever Jane smiled. She had the most welcoming smile. Her eyes were sad, but hopeful, and unlike Helen, she didn't seem particularly invested in keeping any secrets from Albert. 

 

"I--I think Hubert and Cathleen have left." Albert noted with an evident fear and sense of alarm in her voice as she looked around the bar for her supposed friends. 

 

"Would you like to leave, Mr. Nobbs?" Jane asked, tilting her chin in just a way that made her seem almost disappointed. 

 

Upon turning back toward Jane, Albert felt she could not look away. Something wouldn't let her. She wanted to say "Yes, I do, I want to go home. I want to go home to my bed and sleep". Instead, she stared back silently, blankly. Jane smiled and managed to add a surge of nerves to Albert's already full order of different emotions with a simple, "I like you, Mr. Nobbs. I would like to see you again." 

 

Albert's mouth hung open and she said nothing. Jane leaned in--but did not touch Albert--and said, "May I see you again? We can just talk. Not here if you'd prefer somewhere else. Somewhere quiet?" 

 

"That--that would be nice, Ms. Lithgow."

 

"Very well. May I see you tomorrow night?" She was soft spoken with Albert, which was peculiar because Albert had heard just how firm Ms. Lithgow is capable of being with other--albeit drunk--patrons. 

 

"I have to work tomorrow night," Albert explained, flustered and blushing, fidgeting with an empty glass as she continued, "But I will not be working next week. Wednesday will be my last day at the hotel. You see I am opening a small Tobacco shop--a business of my own--and Wednesday will be my last day." 

 

"Your own shop!" Ms. Lithgow beamed. Her voice remained a hushed tone in spite of the connotation--and the noise. Her eyes gleamed with something other than a materialistic interest. She seemed--purely happy for Albert. "That sounds lovely, Mr. Nobbs." 

 

Albert weighed her options. She could deny Ms. Lithgow, carry on with her own life and keep to herself, or--she could see Ms. Lithgow once more and perhaps avoid a lonely night--perhaps have someone to open the shop with. Perhaps someone to have supper with. "Yes," Albert said with a brief nod, "I can show you my shop if you'd like. On Wednesday."

 

"Really? I'd love to see it, I really would." 

 

Ms. Lithgow asked a lot of questions. She wanted to know everything. From how long Albert had been working at the hotel to, whether or not Albert liked the people there. What was Albert's opinion of porridge? Because Ms. Lithgow particularly despised it. She wanted to know how Albert took her coffee and when they were sitting in the newly painted and furnished tobacco shop, Ms. Lithgow poured Albert a cup of strong coffee she made herself. 

 

Before they knew it, the sun had gone down and Albert was chuckling at story about Ms. Lithgow as a child, when the young woman stopped in mid-laugh and stated plainly, "You know, this is the first time I see you smile." 

 

Albert grew instantly self conscious and bowed her head, admitting to Ms. Lithgow that she was not very used to smiling lately. 

 

"Yeah, I understand _that_." She said, and then continued talking. As if nothing had happened. She didn't look at Albert the way others had in the past. She talked and told Albert a terrifying story similar to Albert's. The abuse and the violence--recalling memories she had evidently pushed aside long ago brought tears to the young woman's eyes, and as she continued, with her chin almost as low as her voice, Albert reached out and covered Ms. Lithgow's hand with her own.  _I understand_ , she wanted to say. To Albert's surprise, Ms. Lithgow seemed to relax on contact and she breathed easily, wiped a tear off her cheek and looked up with a smile that was thankful--and gradually something else completely. 

 

Ms. Lithgow's lips parted in the smallest of exhales, and Albert felt desire for the first time in her life. Real desire. For closeness and real intimacy, not just physical, although the physical aspect was definitely, clearly there. And for the first time in her life, Albert felt reciprocation. That locking of gazes showed her everything she thought she'd never have. 

 

Ms. Lithgow kissed Albert, soft and tender. She touched Albert's cheek when she pulled away, and what's more--she stayed. 

 

"Ms. Lithgow, I should tell you something--" Albert found herself saying almost immediately. The thought of this feeling she felt being built on dishonesty saddened her. But, before she could summit to admittance, Ms. Lithgow interrupted her. 

 

"Please call me Jane. And I know about you-- _Mr_. Nobbs." She smiled kindly, not cruelly as Albert would have expected. Of course she knew. Cathleen wouldn't have put this together without the most intricate detail worked out first. Of course she knew. Why else would she pour her heart out so easily if she didn't know she would be understood? "May I call you Albert?" Jane asked. 

 

"Yes, Jane." Albert finally replied, slowly coming to terms with the realization that it wasn't so horrible to need someone, just as long as that someone needed the same in return. And Jane needed Albert. Not only that, but she 'wanted' Albert. Yes, Albert thought, she will need to purchase another chair for the little room in the back after all. 

 

END     

 

    

 

 


End file.
